Friday, March 8, 2013

My Top 10 Movie Cars


For as long as there has been film, there has been assholes showing off their new cars with it, but sometimes once in a while, someone comes along and says "I'm bored, I makin' a movie" and thus that is where this list comes from. Since the dawn of man, people have been interested in cars, with the first cars album ever carved out of stone that dates back tens of years. Here is my opinion on what some of the most iconical cars are in cinema.


Number 10: Cameron's Dad's Car
Car Type: 1961 Ferrari GT California
Movie: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

It's not the car, as much as it is what it represented, freedom, growing up, rebellion, friendship, its basically a my little pony rolled into an amazing allegory that is this car. From its humble beginnings collecting dust in Cameron's garage, to the joy rides of the auto mechanics  awesomeness followed this car, and it perhaps it's where awesomeness comes from.





Number 9: James Bond's Aston Martin
Car Type: Aston Martin DB5
Movie: Goldfinger (and many others)

James Bond had more cars then he had women, well... maybe not women, but he definitely had more cars then he had cats. His most iconical car though, is the Aston Martin. It's his robin to his batman, his bread to his butter, his Sean to his Connery. Packed with more gadgets and love stains than Inspector Gadget on a whiskey binge, this car has been breaking the hearts and legs of many for years.



Number 8: Greased Lightning
Car Type: 1948 Ford
Movie: Grease

Maybe the only car with more love stains than the Aston Martin (did you see how many pelvic thrust there where during that musical number) its this car that had five high school boys dreaming about it more than girls (or boys) in their class. Greased Lightning, not just my hooker name, but a totally badass car, that proves that decals really can make your car go faster.



Number 7: Bus From Speed
Cat Type: Um... A Bus?
Movie: Speed

So you're telling there is a movie where Dumber from Dumb and Dumber gets blown up by the bad guy from water world, then King Koopa puts a bomb on a bus and the only person who can stop it is Theodore Logan? the only thing this movie is missing seems to be is Miss Congeniality.. shes in it too? well, then I guess the only thing missing now is an insane improbable bus jump... oh it has that too? well shit.
(bus jump not on youtube, But Keanu's entire performance was.)



Number 6: Christine
Car Type: 1958 Plymouth Fury
Movie: Christine

Statistically speaking its more likely to die in a car accident then in a plane crash, and that's true because of this car. A car so jealous  it killed its competition in various vehicular varieties included but not limited to, running over, smashing, hitting, and fire... it's like if Carrie was a transformer.

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Number 5: The Bluesmobile
Car Type: 1974 Dodge Monaco
Movie: Blues Brothers

This old police car saw his time and was taking a well deserved rest at the local junk yard. One day two man dressed in black showed up, they saw this car and knew it had a purpose, this car had a divine purpose, it would help Jake and Elwood on their holy mission, and thus a wave of excellence swept across the car as he was needed one last time... the car responsible for the largest on screen car pile up... twice.



Number 4: Jurassic Park Jeep
Car Type: 1993 Jeep Sahara
Movie: Jurassic Park

This was the first thing I remember from this movie, the Jeep the park rangers drove around Jurassic Park, it was fantastic and had the park logo all over it, slick colors, cool design, and roofless, cause how else is John Williams going to compel you to stand in aw as massive dinosaurs walk by if a pesky, bullet proof, reinforced roof is in the way?



Number 3: Ecto-1
Car Type: 1959 Cadillac Professional Ambulance
Movie: Ghostbusters

Ya, Fuck ghosts! and what better way to do it then in an old ass ambulance decked to the fenders with ghost catching technology. This thing was amazing looking and had an awesome unique siren, and should've been in the movie more, but at the times it was in the movie it made a huge impact, Bustin' makes me feel good, in moderation.



Number 2: The Batmobile
Car Type: The Fucking Batmobile
Movie: All the Batmans

It was so hard deciding if this one was going to be number one, but as it is this is basically like a 5 way tie for the second spot, whether you're a 60's fan, Burton Fan, Nolan Fan, or Hell even a Schumacher Fan. Fucking Batman, his gadgets seem endless and useful for any crazy situation he seems to be in. Finding new and imaginative ways to get around, flight suit, Planes, subs, but nothing beats the old stand by, a good old fashioned  bullet proof, gadget infused, GPS ready street tank, even Alfred respectfully creamed his pants over this Dynamic death machine.





Number 1: DeLorean
Car Type: 1981 DeLorean DMC-12
Movie: Back to the Future Series

Woah, you're telling me, you built a TIME MACHINE!? OUT OF A DELOREAN? And Doc brown did just that, a time traveling car, the center piece and main plot device of the Back to the future series, nothing else could have been number one, an entire trilogy about a boy and his time traveling car, suck on that old yellow. The only car on the list that will make your mom sexually interested in you, whether you like it or not... and man if that's not heavy I don't know what is.


Honorable Mentions

The Other Jurassic Park Car



















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The Lone Ranger's Horse (it gets a whopping one Horse Power)



















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The best damn movie Fords I can think of...